Blog Post Nine: A Tale of Two Cities

This is the story of two different instances in my life, about a couple weeks apart and in two different cities, that changed the way I view obedience to the Holy Spirit. At the time, I never (really) realized the importance of what I was about to learn but the lesson would carry throughout my ministry and life. I was reminded of the importance of this recently and immediately thought I had to share it with you.

I was seventeen and we were on our annual family holiday in Natal, Durban. One evening, we decided to head out to Durban beach front. We were casually strolling along the paved paths when I got approached by a man. He was dressed in torn scruffy clothing and looked extremely defeated. He presented a page of stickers to me and asked if I would buy them. I had NO REASON to buy stickers, but I had this prompting in my heart that I needed to give him ten rand. I knew it was the Holy Spirit. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the money. I placed my hand on his shoulder and explained to him that I had no need to buy these stickers and handed him the note. Before he left, I told him that Jesus loves Him. He teared and went off. My aunt walked up to me after this and explained that he needed that exact amount of money to enter the shelter. I turned around and the man was on his knees, facedown in prayer.

Two weeks later…

I was at the less flattering Johannesburg Park Station (The bus station in the center of Johannesburg CBD) to pick up a family member who had arrived that evening. Again, a man approached me, he was flustered and impatient. He was short some change for a bus he needed to take. I had some money in my pocket, but I was in a rush. If you’ve ever been to Park Station, you know you want to leave as soon as possible! I said to him, no – I can’t help him. As he walked away, I immediately felt guilty (most likely for lying…). After a while, I decided to find him and give him the money he asked for. I ran around until I eventually found him. Huffing and puffing – I gave him the money and said Jesus loves you. The response was night and day to the other man! This guy was ready to take me out. He was so disgusted in my statement. If he didn’t have a bus to catch, I think this story would have had a different ending.

Here’s the difference between the two stories: in the first story, I was prompted – my heart was tugged, and I was obedient. The second time, I reacted in my own strength and I was guilt-motivated.

What stands out for me in this is that when I was obedient – it led a man to his knees, to worship God. When I did things in my own way, I will never know for sure, but I probably did more harm than good. I realize that this lesson can translate into every area of my life but specifically in Worship. When we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us – we will see people worship the name of Jesus! When we do what we think is best then often people will see through that. One leads to worship and the other leads to confusion.

The Holy Spirit is our guide and is constantly leading us. When we yield to His leadership, we will experience worship, we will see mountains move and God will be glorified. In your life, what is the Holy Spirit leading you to do?

Much love,
Hayden Hayl’

Blog Post Eight: The Coolest Moment

You may remember from a previous blog post that when I started out in worship ministry – it was all about me being cool and looking like the main man. I aspired to be big and to be seen. I wanted the huge stage, the flashiest guitar (once again, forgive my Shark – I know it’s pretty out there), the lights, smoke machines and the theatrics. I wanted to be the next big worship artist.

I never just strummed a guitar – my arms had to fling around like some sorta Rockstar. My hair had to be a certain way and well if I could, I had to be seen. I mean what was the point of standing on a stage if the pretty girl that I was trying to impress couldn’t see me?

I know, I had a lot to learn (and I still do).

Windhoek 2013 – My first mission trip that was longer than a couple days. In the beginning of that year – our church had our missions launch service. It was basically a service where we highlighted the importance of reaching the lost and indicated which places the church intended on visiting that year. Windhoek, Namibia appeared on the projector screen and immediately I felt that I needed to be a part of that team and boy was a glad that I was!

That mission trip was one of the best things and challenging things I have experienced. I say this because I got to be on a mission trip with two of my best friends BUT at the same time – God used every challenging situation to remind me of how much I still needed to die to myself. There’s nothing like a mission trip to remind you how much life is not about you.

I was given the “worship” portfolio. What that meant is I had to make sure we had someone leading worship whenever it was necessary. If we visited a school or sang together as a team – I needed to make sure we had someone picking songs and leading us.   

Each day we had some sort of outreach activity planned. We visited schools, supported the local church and some orphanages. One orphanage holds a very dear place in my heart. God spoke to me so clearly there on the day we visited – I will never forget it.

Everyone was running around playing with the kids and trying to love them as best we could in our limited time. I was already slightly out of my comfort zone but hey… Then someone said, why don’t we sing a few songs! I jumped at the opportunity – that’s where I feel quite comfortable no matter the surroundings. So, we started singing a few well known Sunday school songs – Father Abraham, This Little Light of Mine… and suddenly I pulled a little crowd of wide-eyed kids clapping and singing along. I was in the zone. Then I looked up and caught the eyes of a little girl named Franscilla. She didn’t know it, but she was about to change my life. I had stopped singing for a moment and she began to sing in the sweetest little voice: “Jesus loves me, this I know”. I broke down, I tried to sing with her, but I could stop myself from tearing up. In that moment the Holy Spirit began to speak: “This is what it is ALL about.” I had this revelation that being a part of the worship ministry had nothing to do with big sound, flashy lights and me being seen but had everything to do with God connecting with His children. God left me with something about my calling right there – I am meant to be a worshiper and to bring worship wherever it is needed. It doesn’t matter if it’s on a stage or a dusty old playground – where people are hungry – I can be used to bring God glory and lead His people to His presence.

God had already been weeding out those self-centered ambitions of mine through my leaders and people around me over the years, but that moment was a pull towards Him that I will never forget.

That was my COOLEST MOMENT.

Much love,
Hayden Hayl’

Meet The Shark: The Shark is my scarlet red bass guitar. Why is it called a shark? Well It’s because the pick guard is cut out in the shape of a shark. It’s wild! I know it’s out there – but I love jamming on it!

Blog Post Seven: My Weapon is a Melody

Music is a powerful tool. It has this ability to connect and unite people all over the world. We see tens and thousands of people flocking to arenas to hear the latest trending artist perform. Music is everywhere: you hear it in our cars, homes, shops… Music is able to convey emotion and allow the listener to experience what the author is trying to say. I recently watched an episode of Survivor without the musical score – man, was I bored. I love watching Survivor but without the music – I felt no connection to the game. We all have a favorite genre or song; we all enjoy music.

As a worshiper, I know how powerful music can be to lead people. Typically, we think about a Sunday morning service or some sort of gathering but I would go further to say – music has the ability to lead and guide people outside of these settings. Often, the things we believe are formed by the songs that we hear. I know I, for one, have proclaimed God to be a “Good, Good Father” in my prayer times ever since the song Good, Good Father was released. Over the years, there has been songs that have shaped our ideas of who God is. That is why it is so important for us as worshipers to pay attention to what we are listening to, singing and perhaps leading others to sing.

There was this song we used to sing weekly at school when I was a kid. “With Jesus in the boat – we can SMILE at the storm”. I cannot tell you how many times that song has popped into my head. Sometimes when I’m driving, sometimes when it rains and sometimes in the line at the grocery story but the times it comes to me the most is the times when I feel anxious, worried, stressed or fearful. In those moments, I sing that song with everything in me – proclaiming that Jesus brings surety and calm when the waves around me are raging. My school’s music teacher probably never realized the way she would still be “leading” me, almost twenty years later.  

Last year, I had a panic attack. I was facing some of the biggest emotional turmoil I had ever faced. I was shaking, my words were broken, and I could barely walk. While a friend was driving me to meet my brother – the song You Cannot Be Stopped by Chris Quilala and Phil Wickham had come to mind (we had recently introduced it in our church).

“Mover of mountains, breaker of chains. Jesus has triumphed over the grave. We sing hallelujah, the battle is won. Nothing can stand, against our God!”

You Cannot Be Stopped – Chris Quilala and Phil Wickham

That is all that could come out of my mouth but in that moment it’s all that needed to. God’s presence overwhelmed me, and I experienced peace in my heart again.

In another instance, I was fifteen and I was getting ready for school. My family had been facing some uncertainty. I picked up my electric guitar and while it was unplugged, I began singing the bridge of Hillsong’s God of Ages. “I am trusting, You. I am trusting, You. I am trusting You with ALL my HEART”. I felt peace.

These instances in my life are like memorial stones that I can recall God’s faithfulness in that time.

You see, music is a powerful tool that can lead us into God’s presence. The catchy tunes or memorable melodies help us recall powerful lyrics that can point towards God. As the Bethel song Raise a Hallelujah lyrics say, MY WEAPON IS A MELODY.

We are facing some of the most uncertain times in recent history – as the church let us remember to pray, sing and proclaim the truth about who God is.

With love,
Hayden Hayl’

Blog Post Six: COVID-19 WILL NOT INFECT OUR WORSHIP

In the last two to three weeks, it has been near impossible to have a conversation with anyone without first discussing the virus in the room. COVID-19 (Corona) has taken SO much of our attention and mental capacity and so in keeping with where our attention currently is, I have decided to take a break from the usual story telling of my worship journey and share my thoughts about worship during the world wide pandemic.

At the beginning of this week, the president of my country, South Africa, placed strict social distancing rules in our fight to break the viral spread. The decisions that were taken had businesses, universities, schools and houses of worship all re-consider how we engage our relevant communities. Most of us having bought some time are now trying to find innovative ideas to reach and connect with our people.

This had me thinking a lot about worship. What would worship look like if the church cannot get together, how would it impact us as a community and why do we follow the rules set out before us?

Firstly, I’d like to make clear a few things. Some of you may know this but some may be hearing this for the first time. Worship is not the music that church goers sing on a Sunday morning. Praise and Worship is often a term we use to announce the time of song that we share on Sunday mornings, however, it is more of a description of what is happening. We are praising our God and worshipping Him for who He is to us. Music is just the medium that we use. We could recite the same lines without a melodic groove and it will mean the same if we acknowledge who we are reciting to. It’s just easier with music. (I could go deeper into this but for now, I think you get my point).

Secondly, the church is not the building that we go to but rather the people inside the building. The church is made up of every believer of Jesus Christ. We are the body and we are His bride.

Back to my questions… What would worship look like if the church cannot get together? Every time I lead worship, I pray that God would do something in every person’s heart – not just for that moment but that it would lead into worship throughout the week, something they can take home. As worshipers, our worship should inspire others to worship Jesus. With that being said, I see this as prime opportunity for households to bring back worship in their homes. I see fathers – leading their children to the feet of Jesus. I see children understanding that they can pray to Jesus any time of the day and they can sing songs to Him ALWAYS! I see families worshiping Jesus. It may look different for every home – some might still use music; some might read their favourite Psalms and some might even talk to each other – saying what we are thankful to Jesus for. Either way, the church not coming together in a traditional sense gives us the opportunity to bring Jesus back into our homes.

In times like these, I believe that we will truly see the strength of the church. Standing together through prayer and support. Not only in our own lives but also in communities we find ourselves in. (SIDE NOTE: One of our pastors had the thought of perhaps asking the elderly what their grocery list is and going to get what they need for them, keeping them protected in their homes. What an amazing idea!) This is an opportunity to stand together, united. We could meet in smaller groups and share the things that God is doing in our lives. (At the time of this blog post, South Africa is not in lock down). Whatever it looks like, the impact this will have on our church communities is GOOD! More people will understand what it means to BE THE CHURCH and share the LOVE of Jesus!

There is a Corona related video doing the rounds of the South African Chief Justice reminding us that the South African National anthem is a call to prayer. It is rare to find a politician who would be so bold. I went back to read the words of our National Anthem. It is beautiful. God bless Africa! As the church we are not called to be lawless – we need to support our National Government in the decisions they have taken. We follow the rules because we understand the weight of the problem, we follow the rules because we understand the authority in our land, and we follow the rules because God is SOVEREIGN in EVERY SITUATION.

South African National Anthem
South African National Anthem

Let no virus steal glory from the one who gave up His life.

Much love,
Hayden

Blog Post Five: To love

When I started serving in worship teams, I did it, primarily, for one thing – to be cool. I wanted to be recognized, I wanted to be seen. I understood that what we were doing was important, but I never really considered much more than – was I being noticed. I would make sure I would be theatrical in my playing, swinging my arms as I strummed the chords on my electric guitar. I never thought about the words of the songs, the people we served or even if this is truly praising God. I just wanted to be seen. I was a green, teenage boy. Thankfully, Jesus had a better plan for me.

Around the time that I was sixteen, my whole world shook. God uprooted me from everything that was familiar, and I was completely out of my comfort zone. My family had relocated from the big city of Johannesburg to a small town in Mpumalanga called Middelburg. I hated that move. I was frustrated. Turned out to be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

Being uncomfortable forced me to cling to the only safe place I knew. I spent more deliberate time with Jesus and through a journey He showed me the sweetness of knowing Him. The love that only comes from him, the restoration that only He can bring, the freedom that only He can give. During that time, I met some significant people in my worship journey. Through my growing relationship with Jesus and the people He placed in my life – I began to learn that worship was not my stage. Worship was my life. Worship was for His glory and leading people in worship was about loving Him and loving His bride. The more I experienced His love personally, the more I wanted others to experience His love (Because it is THAT GOOD). That desire drove me to be more and more passionate about music and worship.

1 Corinthians 13 is a famous verse that speaks about what love is and what it looks like not to have love when serving others. My attitude towards serving had to change. I never wanted to serve the bride of Christ without love in my heart because if I was – then I was just making noise and serving myself.

Serving the church in love means this:

Preparations – This meant that I need to sit at Jesus’ feet before I even think about leading people to Him. I need to listen to His heart. To be saturated by Him. My serving should be an overflow of Him in my life not my own efforts. This was ALSO practical. It meant I had to practice my craft. Loving people meant becoming a better musician. The better prepared I am, the less chance there is for me to be a distraction to people wanting to experience Jesus.

Dedication –Loving the church means that no matter what comes my way – my commitment to Jesus and my commitment to serve takes priority. Jesus takes center place.

Grace – This is one of the most important things for me. Jesus showed the ultimate act of Grace when He gave his life for us on the cross. I need to show grace to others. It means patience with the very people I am serving. It means that no matter how long it takes – I am going to trust that the church would experience God’s love in a worship set. I understand that life happens and people might be distracted. Sometimes it takes time.

Intercession – Loving people means to stand in the gap for them in prayer when they are struggling to do it themselves. I often ask God to show me people in the church who are struggling to connect with Him. I pray for them while we sing and trust that God will meet those people exactly where they are.

Dying to self – Serving the church in love is not about me. It is about Jesus and His glory! My desire to be seen must die and my desire to see Christ lifted up must rise. This is probably one of the most freeing things to grasp. It means that I can’t make anything happen – I can’t make people encounter God’s love – only He can.

The things I’ve shared here are not worship ministry specific as it might appear. We are called to love! How can you love God and the people God has placed in your life better?

Much love,
Hayden Hayl’

Blog Post Four: Lead Me!

I have been apart of worship ministry since I was fourteen years old. That’s about fourteen years of making music – leading people towards Jesus. In that time, I have found myself serving with people from all walks of life. Each one who took a different road and each who played a different role in my journey. As a young musician – I looked up to the people that were ahead of me. The people that have served for many years. The people that were older than me. I looked to them for guidance, for help, for direction – for leadership.

I was so hungry to learn – I would find a way to open up conversations about music and worship whenever I could. Some of the people I looked up to were my direct leaders, some were peers, some were friends or family. Nevertheless, if I knew you were involved in worship ministry – I looked up to you. Some people chuckled me off, some people drew me in and some never even knew that I was observing. I wanted to grow, quickly. I wanted some direction, some impartation. I wanted to be led.

What happens when you are looking for that leadership and the leaders you have – don’t lead or support you? What do you do then? In my journey thus far – I have had many, many encounters with leaders who have left me feeling used and drained. (Yes, even in the church we can experience these things). I would give my all but often I felt like all I was, was a function – a cog in the machine, a link in the chain.

A lot of this happened in my early stages of worship (with one or two exceptions that I will tell you about them in later posts) but I found myself having to find a few things to keep going. The first of that being PURPOSE. Why am I doing this? What is the meaning of this? If it’s people’s affirmation – then I have a much shorter road ahead. Secondly, I had to decide WHO I wanted to learn from. Thirdly, I had to find the COURAGE to take ownership of my own growth.

What that meant for me was this: Jesus had to be my purpose, He had to be the reason I worship. It meant I needed to find the people who were passionate about Jesus and it meant that no matter what came my way – I needed to make sure that my growth was not dependent on another person but rather on me choosing to grow in every situation.

Sometimes we look to programs, events and structures to make us grow but ultimately, we need to put ourselves in the spaces that enables us to grow. Nobody can make you grow – as the age old saying goes : “You can take a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink”  – You can choose to learn from your circumstances, your leaders, the events and programs but you have to decide if it’s worth it first. Sometimes it will be easy – the people around you will inspire and motivate you but sometimes it is going to be hard. For me, Jesus is worth it and that is why I will continue to try grow in whatever manner I can.

Blog Post Three: Pencils and Paint Tins

Where did my worship story begin? I thought about this quite a bit recently and I was tempted to tell the story about my old school buddy and I wanting to start a band and the road that took me on… but then I remembered being in grade six (twelve years old) and singing in a worship team and I was tempted to tell that story too. While these were stories from my early interest into praise and worship – I believe it started much, much earlier than that!

I’ve told you the story of the day I came to know the love of Jesus at the tender age of seven but my interest in praise and worship ministry started even before that. Being a part of a family that was committed to church (and being in a Christian school), meant I was exposed to a lot of church. A lot. We attended every service, every prayer meeting, every home cell… and when we went on holiday – we did those same things with different congregations.

Whenever we’d have these church gatherings, we’d always start with singing. The service would start out with these uplifting, fast-paced tunes with people clapping and smiling all over the room, and then transition to Largo (slow tempo) anthems with congregants’ arms raised and eyes shut.

Where was I during all of this? I was there, next to my parents with my eyes locked in on the people performing these songs. (I say performing because at the time I definitely had no idea what was happening.) My eyes would roam the blue and maroon carpeted stage of our local church in the south of Johannesburg, South Africa. I would see the lead guitarist who hadn’t cut off the excess strings on his guitar, the long scarlet red bass guitar (if you’ve seen me on stage, it might seem like I have come full circle on this one), the Pearl drum set or the massive speakers built into the walls… I was fascinated. It was loud, it was exciting and it caused the people around us to react.

Something inside me stirred up. I wanted to be those people on the stage. At the time, I never realized why or how…besides playing with the sound effects on a Casio piano at home – I had zero musical talent.

As a five-year-old boy, I decided it was time to start my musical journey! I would grab some old paint tins from our storeroom, a set of pencils and set them up on out veranda. This was my stage. This was my time. This was my moment! Well… until I saw a Daddy Long Legs Spider insider one of the paint tins.

I decided to learn – so I’d go to church with my folks and then I would sit down during worship time and I would imitate the drummer as best I can! I would watch his hand movements and his facial expressions and then I would proceed to try those things with my imaginary drumsticks and a “virtual” drum set.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I believe it was these building blocks that propelled me towards the praise and worship ministry. It was passion placed deep in my heart and when the time came for me – I cherished every moment. Yes, I had not come to salvation yet, but I believe that God has given us talents, passions and desires that can be used to bring Him glory. God stirred up these things in me way before anything would ever happen so that when I would be given the opportunity – I had NO HESITATION.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2 Verse 10 (New Living Translation)

Much love,

Hayden Hayl’

Who is The Drummer Boy at the top of this post. I was super inspired to post this entry when a friend of mine and genuine worshiper, Marika Joubert sent me a video of her little son jamming away on tins – JUST LIKE ME! I cannot wait to see what the next generation of worshiper accomplish for the Kingdom!

Blog Post Two: This is my Story, this is my Song

Here we are at another entry into my worship diary. I thought you might have a better understanding of who I am if I told you some of the very beginning.

In my first blog post, I shared a bit of my upbringing. For those that missed it – I explained that I grew up in a Christian home and went to a Christian school and did all the Christian things… When I thought about that – I realized that some of you probably think that I’m just another person professing Christianity and it was probably “enforced” on me. Well, I can understand that point of view but let me tell you my version.

My parents came to salvation in their early adult lives. Quite miraculously, I might add. My mom grew up in a staunch Tamil household and well, after encountering the love of Jesus – she came to salvation. Fast forward a few years later – I ended up on Earth. My parents did everything they felt necessary to give me a good, solid upbringing. So yes, I was placed in a Christian school in the South of Johannesburg. Not the biggest school, not the sportiest or academically prestigious but a Christian school. (For the record, a Christian school is just like any other – except we pray on occasion, have some bible lessons and sing Christian songs).

So there I am a grade one boy (about seven years old). I remember this one assembly – we had a Prophet come to share a message with us. To be honest, I cannot remember a single thing that the bearded elderly man had to share until he asked us to raise our hands if we wanted to accept Jesus into our hearts… I had NO hesitation. I wanted Jesus in my heart. My whole life was already centered around this Jesus, so yes – this seemed like a good thing to do. We prayed a simple prayer but before I knew it, I was facedown in awe of God’s presence in the room. Granted it is now twenty odd years from that moment – but I don’t remember us going back to class that day. I remember God moving so powerfully and touching people all over the room – there were tears, there was joy and there was a sense of belonging.

I was young, probably did not understand a lot but I cannot deny the realness of that moment. That was the day that I surrendered my life to Jesus. The day I said – Jesus, You are my savior.

I lived a bit of a confusing life from that point – I was somewhat of a double agent. I loved Jesus BUT I wanted people’s approval more – so even though I met Jesus – there was a lot I had to grow in (that’s a story for another day). Even though the journey had only begun and I would still have so much to experience, I had this surety that Jesus would take care of me, that He would be there for me and that I was going to heaven.

At that point, these lyrics became real:

“Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine!… This is my story, this is my song – Praising my Savior all the day long!”

Much love,

Hayden Hayl’

Interesting Fact: Blessed Assurance is a famous hymn written in 1873 by Fanny Crosby. A blind songwriter and poet who wrote more than 8000 hymns and gospel songs. Blessed Assurance is a hymn that has cut through generations and its legacy shines bright by being sung worldwide in churches today. It’s a powerful declaration of the security we have in Christ. Are you a song writer? Never underestimate your music – it can be used powerfully to glorify the name of Jesus!

Blessed Assurance performed live by Elevation Worship

Blog Post One: The Explanation

Sometime last year, I felt it on my heart to write up what my worship journey has looked like. How it all began, what motivated me and pretty much where it has taken me. Well, I did that, but I could never really conclude the piece. I am constantly learning and growing, and it would be somewhat unfair to try concluding that piece of work. So that has led me to where I am right now, sitting on a plane with a burning desire to start a blog post.

I figure that I would share parts of my journey in a few easy to read blog posts and perhaps it inspires you or makes you think. I don’t have a direct plan at the moment (besides a few ideas for future posts), but I am curious to see where this goes.

I have named my blog – A Worship Diary. It is literally some of my thoughts, ideas and feelings. I will share as much as I can and hope it blesses you.

My blog is not entirely aimed at worshipers although a lot of what will be written would come from this perspective: I am a Christian. I grew up in a what you would call a charismatic church (you know, flags, dancing and hands up in the air kind of vibes). I went to Sunday school (some churches call it Children’s church), I participated in singing and dancing (Right Arm, Left Arm, Right Foot, Left Foot and Turn Around ) and after all that, my parents also placed me in a Christian school so when I was done singing Father Abraham on Sunday – I was ready to sing Hop on the bus, God is on the move the Monday at school.

Today, I serve as a worship coordinator at my local church, play a few string instruments and absolutely love the house of the Lord. In other words, not much has changed!

My point is this – you might not have the same upbringing as me or perhaps not even the same beliefs, but I trust there will be something for everyone to take out of these posts. I would also love to engage with you – if you agree, disagree, frown upon – whatever it is, drop a comment or send me an email, let’s talk!

Transparency – I strive to live my life with complete transparency. Who I am in front of you is who I should be in front of my boss, my mother, my pastor and my dog! (His name is FLASH by the way). So these blog posts will be raw, real and authentic.

I am aiming to push out these blog posts quite regularly (hoping that life does not get the better of me and I can share my journey with you!). If you’d like to keep up to date with my posts – be sure to subscribe/follow with your email address!

Much love,
Hayden Hayl’